some birds don't deserve to be caged.

I don't understand.
Eighteen years have gone by, and I haven't been worth it for one person.
Not one single person.
Not worth it for one person to step outside of their fears and try to be mine.
Do I scare people, am I picky, am I not good enough?
I have no idea what it is.
But I am so tired. so tired.
So tired of being alone, of being unimportant, of not being worth it, of everything.
I'm just tired of not having something I want so badly.
I was gonna fix it, that was my new year's resolution, but I don't know what to fix, and I don't understand anything.
I'm completely lost, and I know I shouldn't be worried about it there's still plenty of time.
But honestly I'm not looking for my soulmate, or my husband, or even a fucking boyfriend.
I'm looking for someone to show me that I'm worth it.
I'm looking for someone to chill with, and it's different..
It doesn't seem like it will ever happen.