and another thing

Oh, and thanks for having technical difficulties and NOT putting up the exam, so that our final is worth 80%

----

I'm so fucked.

A final can not be worth 80%

, and my easy class Jazz, I'm not doing so hot in.

UGHHHHHH.

fml, suck it. I hate thinking about school, my internship.

I'd rather sleep all day and party all weekend.

Which is what I do, and this is what I end up with.

Can someone please explain to me how not to hate school?

I need to start caring about college.

And less about stupid things.

That I care about a lot.

I'm so done with stupid pointless things that take up my mind, and things that I really need to concentrate on.

Fuck facebook, fuck myspace, fuck boys, fuck expecting stupid things, and trying to be forward and just feeling retarded in the end. Fuck mistakes, fuck feeling better than other people, fuck judging, and fuck all my stupid phases cause I'm trying to impress somebody else. Every new person I meet it's like my personal mission to look indiechic cool like yeah this is what I'm in to.

I don't even know what I'm in to. I like everything, literally everything. I hate what you hate though. And I like what you like a little bit more than usual, but I'll contradict with you a little bit on something just to show that I know what I'm talking about. 

I guess it's just a part of my survival system.

I just want everyone to like me.

I don't know why I have to make everyone like me, but apparently I do.

I just want my old friends, that know the real me, and how odd and emo and retarded I really am. 

And at the same time I want new friends that are completely fresh and just get to know me by just chillin.

Maybe I can do that.

I'm just so tired on concentrating on things I don't need to be concentrating on.

I just want to go with the flow, and if I meet you it's a hey what's up, and in the back of my head maybe we'll meet again. No adding on facebook and saying hey it was great to meet you!

It's all so overboard and a waste of my time. It never goes anywhere.

I'm just so done.

Time to get back on school and my internship and stop fucking worrying about stupid shit.

Hopefully I got all the angst out of me now, and I'll wake up staying true to that message and feeling new and refreshed.

We'll see.

[and I thought about you today, about how thankful I am for everything around me - I wish you were apart of it, but in the spiritual sense you are - and always will be. you've shaped me into someone and that will always be a part of me - thanks - happy easter]