thunder.

Maybe one day I'll tell you everything I felt and why.

Maybe one day I'll tell my friends the same.

They know the short of it, they can infer the rest. But no one knows the true extent but me.

Maybe, if you get me drunk enough, I'll tell you just how angry I really am. How much I want you to care. You've seen a glimpse... yes. Only a glimpse.

I'm still mad.

I'm mad that I care so much, I'm mad because I can't help it. I'm mad because I spent so much time caring because I was so sad, so scared. I never realized what I was doing until I was away from it. 

Maybe you'll get it; maybe then you'll care.

Maybe you'll just think I'm crazy.

Maybe because I am. I am crazy. I am emotionally unstable.

I am fragile.

I hope this is the last of you. I honestly just need you out of my head.

Cause honestly, there's not much to care about. Why should I care about someone who doesn't give a shit about me? Who doesn't really do shit with their life? Who I'm not fucking compatible with? Why?

I spent so much time caring, for so many reasons other than 'attraction'. It's hard, damn hard, to get that out of my system. I will though.

At least I'm fucking good at hiding this shit. Cause on the surface I really don't give a shit. I don't, and I can damn well believe that when I'm not thinking about it. It's all a matter of saving face, and knowing there's more important shit in my head to deal with than this. And one day I'll just look at you as another funny kid on my long list, nothing special. And don't lie, thats where I am on yours.