Run.

Well.... life is interesting.

To say the least.

I'm really tired right now, but I feel like expressing things, recording things down. I don't know what, because so much has happened but there's somethings that just need to be said and I guess I'll just let it all spill out.

The whole month from my birthday to now has been a blur.  A blur of partying, a blur of drinking, a blur of shows, a blur of meeting people, a blur of random numbers, a blur. A big, big blur.

If you asked me about a certain situation, I could tell you about it.. but when it happened, why it happened, it would take me a few minutes to figure it all out. Let alone if you asked me what all happened.

I guess we'll start from the beginning.

My birthday. When it struck midnight I was over at a friends, and they gave me hugs and I got a call from my roomates who yelled Happy Birthday, and told me to come over. It was so sweet. I came over and I realized I was nineteen. When exactly did that happen. When did I get so close to becoming twenty. I don't remember anything about life as a 13 year old anymore. I've learned so many lessons these past few years, and I don't want to forget who I am RIGHT NOW. It made me just.. confused. and sad. I am in love with the simplicity of life right now, and turning 19 reminded me that we can not press pause and stay like this forever. We have to grow up, become responsible, get wrapped up in making money, and finding husbands, and providing for children. Will I remember everything I've learned? I was unsure. Will I become a shell of who I am now? I hope to God not. Will I always be me? .. I don't know. I feel like life is always forcing you forward and sometimes its necessary to grow up and it's good to learn. But, what if you feel like you've learned what you needed to. That this is the way life should be. I guess, more than ever, I just do not want to grow up. I cried, like a baby, around 12:30 am on my birthday. I just couldn't take it. 

I guess I'm just going to sit back, breathe, and watch life unfold.

I'm brave enough to dance how I want wherever I want, I'm brave enough to take the plunge into a path unknown. I'm not going to forget though, never. I refuse to let that happen, that's what my tattoo is for - a reminder. 

And I've got plans.. so I'm not going to let a petty thing like fear get in my way.