I don't think I'm afraid of dying.
I know, I'm way too young to even think about that.
But seriously, I really don't think I'm afraid.
And if I am.
I am WAY more afraid of other's dying.
Extremely and strongly afraid.
There are many mothers on blogs, writing about their families.
Their sons and daughters.
Their children are their entire worlds, and they should be.
They love them with all their heart, and for so long.
Then what happens, when that child, the one their lives have centered around is ripped from their picture of joy and the rest are left shattered.
Death gives me fear that love could be ripped away from me permanently.
I cry/feel so terribly so easily now as it is.
If that were to actually happen to me... I think I would crumble into nothing.
I guess I must become stronger, and not give in to the fear, but I have this feeling that whenever I find that guy I will always be afraid, and whenever I have children that fear will follow me too.
The fear is in the tears that fall down my cheek now.
No, I'm not afraid of death, my own at least. I have no idea what's in store for me in the future, I have no big dreams I'm really happy with myself. I'm one of those people that just ride the wave, and if the journey ends here so be it. Not that I want to die, not in the least. I very much would like to live and learn and grow. I'm just afraid of my friends, my family, my loved ones leaving me behind.

Dammit, I don't know if that's a selfish idea or not. I guess it kind of is, in the end every person is still looking out for themselves.