do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?

I think it's starting to click.
The last two posts are somewhat related.
I don't think I could ever live with a broken heart, even though I'm firm with the belief that if someone doesn't want to be in my life I shouldn't be concerned with them.
But I don't think anyone I have ever loved has left my life with the intention to do so, or who has such a strong connection that I believe that kind of love is.
So maybe deep down I know that the boys and men I've met along the way, out of all of them none of them are able to live up to that expectation.. to love me forever.
I've never consciously expected that from anyone, every girl hopes that the one they're with won't break their heart. Who wants that?
I think maybe I'm trying to hide from myself, tell myself I don't need real love yet I just need someone to prove to me that I'm worth it. That should have happened by now.
But I think I'm lying to myself, I think that if I were to meet the guy that proved to me I am "worth it".. then they would have seen through it all, they would know me better than I know myself. I would fall in love you see, and that wouldn't go very well with this whole rushing to find a boy, any boy, thing. I'd just be setting myself up for dissapointment, because I wouldn't fall for the one that didn't really want me.
As you can see, I don't know myself very well at all. I'm learning all the time, hopefully this theory is correct.
I think God knows this, so he's teaching me patience.
Along with teaching me about myself.
So. I am done worrying, well I will try.
He will send me the one, once those my generation have finally decided to grow up, and they are ready to live up to my unconscious expectations.
I will learn patience, and while living without love kind of sucks, I'm going to get over it, cause one day I'll get there. I'd much rather learn this, then live with a broken heart. Much, much rather.