do you really.

Okay. Seriously. I've had enough.
I am not going to worry about this any longer.
Or contemplate, or think about excessively.
If the thoughts come across my mind, I am going to block them out.
I really do not see the point in caring anymore, and I'm not going to.
I'm not.
It's so pointless.
If I find myself not able to block it out, and somehow find validity as to why, then obviously I should do something about it. I guess I should do something about it now, but seeing as its my freshman year of college none of this shit really matters. Relationships shouldn't be on our minds right now, it DOESN'T MATTER.
So I'm not going to make him feel awkward about this, and I'm not gonna be worried about him feeling awkward, I'm not going to deal with any of this shit. I know he's not worried about it now, and it really hasn't gone anywhere in the past ohhh months. Therefore I'm pretty sure it's not going to go anywhere unless he really wants it to, and honestly I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a shit.
Okay, so that's that. All agreed?
I can hug and hold hands with a boy and not think about him right?
[Ugh, this is all so childish.]

Yes.