you're my sunshine.

and it's at night
when I get struck by the thoughts
nd all I want you to do is knock on the door and say what's up
and I'd probably tackle you
ask you what the fuck was wrong with you
who said you could just go away?
I'm supposed to be studying right now
I'm supposed to be spaced out as fuck
you're supposed to distract me.. like that one time you snuck up on me..
but not this way.
fuck i miss you man.
it blows that i didn't get to know you
and have this awkward friendship/neighbor relation whatever the fuck it is.
it blows that i dont get to see you every day and say hey
and get made fun of, and laugh with you and still not really know you
but fuck i saw you everyday. i would see you everyday.
WHO SAID YOU COULD GO AWAY.
leave all these broken people behind.
and you didn't break me. it's all those people you did break that broke me.
they miss you. shit who wouldn't miss you.you were it. you were the boy. their boy.
you were my neighbor. fuck what an awkward position to be in.
man. we were just starting to get to know each other.
like. what the fuckkkkkk.man. I need to be studying.
I wasn't supposed to have these thoughts fill my head while my brain drifts while 'studying' I was just supposed to space the fuck out. That's what used to happen. This is what shouldn't be happening. None of this should be happening. None of this should have happened. Man. WHY THE FUCK. PLEASE COME BACK. PLEASE. just.. come back. so that all these broken people can have their boy back, and I would have my neighbor back and I would've never experienced this and no one would be hurt and I wouldn't have to think about these things while trying to study. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
and YES I learned some shit from this. I learned a LOT from this, but I'd rather have you back here than all the lessons in the fucking world.

and I lied... you did kind of break me. and I know.. it's wierd. but you did. You know you were the first person I met on this hall... you were the first person I ever saw daily that just dissapeared. I know thats a euphamism.. but boy you really did just kind of leave. why the fuck did you do that? skfjaslfjal;fkjwoeifjkdsljc. come back and wear my silly hat and watch a football game with me and make fun of me and laugh please just laugh and smile please. I miss that smile. I miss you goddammit. this shouldn't be affecting me this way right? I barely knew you. but I miss you. I do. I'm not gonna lie.



I think I'll go back to studying now. Let's see how long this lasts.